I found the parent statements to be deceptively hard. Parents are asked to write about their child, whom they know intimately—but in a format that rewards clarity, balance, objectivity... and that is also constrained by character counts (though not as harshly as with student statements / essays).
Tonally, the two ends of the spectrum are: using responses as a platform for resume-style bragging, and being overly humble, or underselling the narrative.
Although I have a LOT to say about the parent statements; as this blog is oriented around guidance that may be helpful for students, I will keep this article light. This article is organized into two sections: our process; and for what it's worth, a light framework to consider.
In a separate article, I share a few thematic data points and observations. See: Parent Statement Prompts Data
Our Process In Writing Parent Statements
Drafting the parent statements was a mixed experience: simultaneously delightful and painful. It was delightful because... what parent doesn't relish an opportunity to reflect on their child's qualities and growth; and it was painful because... there were so many prompts, and conforming to the stringent character limits was tedious and difficult.
We made it a priority to write these statements early, completing about 90% of the final drafts before we even began campus tours in mid-October. Since I joined most of the tours with my daughter, I revisited the statements around late November. This allowed me to re-read them with fresh eyes, informed by atmosphere and culture I experienced at each school.
The parent statements were a true joint effort (especially since my husband's writing is far superior to mine). Our process was collaborative and iterative:
Initial Draft: I drafted the initial responses, which were almost always significantly over the character limit.
Initial Revision: I would sometimes pare the drafts down myself; but if I felt fed up with the exercise, I left the initial drafts for my husband to tackle.
Core Revisions / Full Edit Rights: We agreed there would be no pride in authorship. My husband had full liberty to completely rewrite my initial bid as he deemed appropriate (a liberty he did exercise once). Stating the obvious, this was the hardest part, since neither of us wanted to dilute the spirit of or nuance in the initial drafts.
Final Revisions: I took on the responsibility of the semi-final revisions, and specifically the meticulous task of paring the near-final versions down to comfortably fit the character limits. This exercise was not that difficult, but did take a few hours (in aggregate). I shied away from using short-forms and abbreviations—inclusive of my daughter's name (though in transparency, her name is short).
Final Review: Prior to submission, we both gave the statements a final read-through. Very few (if any) changes were made at this stage.
And of course, we iterated on these parent statements asynchronously, and in the same document my daughter used to work through her student statements / essays.
Parent Statements: A Light Framework to Consider
1. Lead with observations, not accomplishments: Admissions Officers want to understand:
- Your child's temperament
- How they behave at home
- How they respond to challenge
- How they relate to others
- What emotional / familial / academic / structural scaffolding they need to succeed
The tone of a good parent statement is: "this is what I've noticed" and not "here is what you should be impressed by."
2. Use small, specific examples: Rather than "she is very responsible," which is definitionally unclear, contextualize the descriptor; for example: "she sets her own alarms, packs her lunch, and keeps a detailed homework checklist on her own." Specificity lends itself toward credibility.
3. Be honest, but gentle, about growth areas: Areas of development should be raised in a grounded, supportive way. For example: "he overcommits at times, because he gets excited about new ideas." The statement is without judgement and is not dramatic. It explains the growth area, without sounding overly defensive.
4. Keep your role clear: The focus of the parent statement is your child—and not the parent's philosophy or credentials. Responses should be from the parent's vantage point, but with the spotlight kept on the child.
One final bit about how we used the 'parent statement' part: many schools provided a catch-all section for parents to note anything else. We debated whether or not to use this section (we did not wish to waste Admissions Officers' time). We ended up using the section for several schools to add pointed notes about disparate things that we ultimately decided was worthwhile and contextually relevant to the primary points we raised in the parent statement(s). We used this catch-all section to note things such as: our daughter's multi-cultural background, experience living abroad, and about a medical diagnosis.
Also for what it's worth, all the schools my daughter applied to, except for one (Deerfield), required one or multiple parent statements.