Preparing for boarding school interviews felt overwhelming at first—like trying to teach authentic conversation through a curriculum. This article outlines our approach and journey through interview prep, organized into four sections: what the interview is and why it matters; how we approached preparation; thematic observations about the questions; and key reflections.
For practical, tactical guidance on structuring answers and practicing specific questions, see Preparing for Interviews: Practical Guidance.
Understanding the Boarding School Interview
What It Is (and What It Isn't)
The interview is not a test. The Admissions Officer is not trying to trick your child or gauge how they handle themselves under pressure. Unlike a job interview, the boarding school interview is a genuine opportunity for the school to get to know your child, and for your child to present an authentic version of themselves.
It's one of the central components of the admission process. Every applicant—regardless of background, location, or testing profile—will complete an interview. Schools use interviews to go beyond transcripts and test scores to get a real sense of who the student is: how they think, how they express themselves, what motivates them, and whether they'd thrive in the school's particular culture.
Interview Formats
Most schools offer in-person and virtual formats, with two flavors of the in-person option:
In-person on campus: Interviews typically happen directly following a scheduled tour, in a cozy office setting on campus.
In-person at local hubs: Many schools run off-campus interviews in major city hubs like New York/New Jersey, Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Washington D.C., and Houston, as well as key international cities. These semi-local interviews run during fall and early winter, designed for families who cannot easily get to campus but still want the personal feel of a face-to-face conversation. These typically happen in a makeshift office space in the conference or business center area of a hotel.
Virtual: Widely accepted, especially for international students or families who would otherwise need to travel far distances.
Neither format is considered "better" by schools, but the experience does differ, which can shape how comfortably your child presents themselves.
One note: Choate exclusively holds virtual interviews (no in-person option). Their rationale is to ensure the same experience for all students—regardless of whether they've scheduled a tour, where they live, or their time zone.
What Actually Happens
The interview typically lasts 30-45 minutes total. It usually involves a 20-35 minute conversation between the student and an Admissions Officer, followed by a shorter conversation between the parent and the same officer.
Admissions Officers ask a mix of open-ended questions (e.g., "Tell me about yourself"), experience-based questions (e.g., "Describe a challenge you've overcome"), and interest-oriented ones (e.g., "What do you enjoy outside the classroom"). The last 5-10 minutes of the student interview are usually reserved for the student to ask questions.
Yes, Parents Are Interviewed Too
At all the schools my daughter applied to except Lawrenceville, there was a parent portion. But it's not really an "interview" with the parents—it's an informal chance for parents to ask questions. Usually, the parent(s) and Admissions Officer chat one-on-one. This was the case for my daughter and me at all schools except Deerfield, where my daughter was present during my portion.
Often (but not always), the Admissions Officer will provide a nice verbal run-down of what they discussed with your child.
Scheduling: Are There Enough Slots?
In short, yes—but interview slots, especially semi-local in-person ones held in select hubs, fill up quickly. Schools will offer more times if needed, but keep in mind you're working around each school's calendar.
I strongly suggest scheduling interviews as early as reasonably possible—but after your child has done enough diligence to get a real feel for a school, whether through a campus tour or local/virtual admissions event. By the time we scheduled our tours in early/mid-October, all available weekend slots had already been taken.
Why the Interview Matters
Schools treat interviews as qualitative evidence—a way to evaluate intangible attributes like thought process, curiosity, independence, maturity, communication skills, and alignment with the school's values.
A strong interview will not override weak grades or nonexistent extracurriculars, but it can help distinguish a student in a competitive pool. Conversely, an interview that feels flat, performed by rote, or disengaged can subtly work against an otherwise strong file.
The goal is not for a student to perform or impress; it's for them to reveal who they are—in as cogent, authentic, and thoughtful way as possible.
How We Approached Interview Prep
When We Started (and Why I Got Nervous)
Our interview prep began around early October, once we began planning campus tours in earnest. This coincides with when I realized that preparing for interviews was going to be an endeavor in and of itself.
I came to this realization when I asked my daughter: "Tell me about yourself." Her response was: her name, home city, primary extracurricular—said factually—and a joke attribute. She forgot about all the other facets of herself and her life that make her who she is.
At the onset, I wasn't too nervous about preparing for the interview. I figured an interview is just a short conversation with an adult, which my daughter has had countless times—including with me. However, once I began preparing, I became real nervous for three reasons:
First, I realized the conversations my daughter has had with adults were almost exclusively with teachers —but not in a Harkness-type setting. They've been with teachers where the conversation tends to be one-way (teacher to student), and where a student's contribution is usually in the form of call-and-response (with the teacher looking for a specific answer). Of her conversations with extracurricular coaches, instructors, or me, I realized they've all been wildly informal. My daughter tends to speak fast and with garbled words when overly excited. Sometimes she mumbles. Often, she lets her thoughts trail off, or will interrupt herself with a separate thought or her own editorial about what she'd just been talking about. Almost always, she interjects or responds with one-liner hypeman-style phrases like "oh snap," "bet," "bruh," "whaaaaa," or sometimes just sound effects. This is all said with love, and I think—for a 13-year-old—it's mostly charming. But I also don't think it's adequate for a boarding school interview.
Second, my daughter is not on the debate team and has not had any training about how to structure disparate ideas and articulate them cogently. While we've engaged our daughter in serious or practical conversations, these were never held under any form of pressure, and we've always had the luxury of time to let conversation threads meander before she eventually communicated her point(s)—if at all. More concisely: without practice, our daughter would have struggled to get her ideas across in the limited time she'd have during an interview.
Third, my daughter has not had much practice with deep introspection. So while it seemed crazy at first that my daughter responded to "Tell me about yourself" with just her name and city, I realized she simply had never had the time or impetus to think about who she is. She's busy with homework, extracurriculars, and friends. She's never had to articulate what she cares about, what makes her tick, what her strengths or growth areas are—and certainly not in a structured, coherent way.
Our Preparation Strategy
We took a structured approach to interview prep, broken into six components:
1. We Created a Question Bank
I compiled a list of around 50 questions across broad categories: self-awareness, academics, extracurriculars, community and values, boarding school fit, and character-building experiences. The question bank served two purposes:
Practice material: My daughter used these questions to develop her ability to think on her feet and structure responses in real time.
Thought starters: Questions prompted reflection on aspects of herself she hadn't considered before. They helped her develop a more complete sense of her own narrative.
For a comprehensive list of 50 solid practice questions organized by category, see Preparing for Interviews: Practical Guidance.
2. We Held Mock Interviews
We conducted practice sessions where I asked questions from our bank and she responded aloud. These weren't scripted—I wanted her to practice thinking and responding in real time.
Initially, these sessions were painful. Her responses were stilted, overly brief, or meandering. But over time, she developed a rhythm. She learned to pause before answering, structure her thoughts using frameworks (like "situation-action-result"), and express herself more clearly.
Key insight: The goal was never to memorize answers. It was to practice the mechanism of articulating thoughts under mild pressure. By doing this repeatedly, the process became more natural.
3. We Used a Reinforcement Strategy
Between mock sessions, I gave light feedback—not critiques of content, but observations about delivery:
- "That answer felt scattered. What if you started with the main point?"
- "You trailed off at the end. What were you trying to say?"
- "That was a strong response—you were clear and specific."
This feedback loop helped her internalize what good answers felt like without making her self-conscious about "getting it right."
4. She Prepared Questions for Interviewers
We prepared for each tour by re-reviewing the school and thinking about questions my daughter had. We deferred most questions to the tour itself (led by a current student). We always landed on 4-7 questions for the interviewer.
The first couple of times we did this were the most painful, since it was a blank slate exercise. Once we got through the first couple, we had a small pool of questions relevant to all schools, which we regurgitated as needed. Of the 4-7 questions, around three were always some regurgitated form of a previous question. And we always had 2-3 school-specific questions.
These questions were prepared either the night before or sometimes during the very early morning multi-hour drives to campus. However, my daughter remained flexible about adding to, deleting, or amending her question set based on information we heard from each tour.
Usually, you'll have a few minutes after the tour while awaiting the interviewer. My daughter used this time to amend (if warranted) and re-review her question set. Just kidding—this happened only a couple of times. Mostly, my daughter zoned out and began doodling in the notebook she kept to organize her questions, thoughts, and observations about each school.
And I typically used this time (and the 25-35 minutes my daughter was in her interview) to draft questions I had for the Admissions Officer.
For suggestions on strong questions students can ask, see Questions Students May Ask Admissions Officers.
5. We Debriefed After Each Interview
I covered this a bit earlier under the "reinforcement strategy" section. After each tour/interview, my daughter and I debriefed. I bifurcated the conversation between observations and editorial about the school, and the interview.
When debriefing about the interview, my daughter kindly recalled the questions she was asked and gave me a quick version of her response. Candidly, this was mostly to sate my curiosity. I did not use this conversation to give her feedback; rather, I sought to be encouraging by tamping down her anxieties around feeling like she could have done better.
6. She Sent Thank-You Emails
After each interview, my daughter sent brief thank-you emails to her interviewer. These were genuine expressions of appreciation—not attempts to lobby or impress.
For guidance on post-interview etiquette, see Thank You Notes.
What We Learned About Campus Tours and Interviews
We are fortunate to be within non-trivial driving distance from all the schools my daughter applied to. Still, carving out time to visit each campus was an investment and required sacrifices: missed school days and days off from work to make either same-day or overnight trips.
For an in-depth look at our experience planning for and going on campus tours, see: Campus Tour Planning.
Thematic Observations About Boarding School Interviews
Here are a few thematic observations; however, see: Interviews - in Data Format for additional data-based insights.
- All the interviewers were lovely in different ways.
- All our interviewers worked within the Admissions Office and I think naturally, as part of the general role, often also "dual-hatted" in other roles serving admissions and/or the school.
- Our interviewers were a mix of newer (1-5 years) and tenured Admissions Officers. Regardless of duration in the role, all were knowledgeable, helpful, transparent, and excited to be there having nice chats with bright students.
- My daughter's interviews lasted 30 minutes, give or take 5 minutes (mostly give).
- The last 5-10 minutes were always reserved for questions for the interviewer.
- The interview—including the parent portion—never felt rushed. Admissions Officers were always generous with their time, though for about four of them, the whole interview did need to stay on a stricter schedule to prepare for the next family.
- About half of the interviewers began my parent portion with a kind, quick recap of the conversation they had with my daughter. I'm not sure if this practice is protocol at certain schools or personal practice by some interviewers.
- All schools except Lawrenceville held a conversation with the parent. Of the schools who did this, all except Deerfield held these conversations one-on-one (without the child present).
- Despite the interview portion being only 20-30 minutes (excluding time allocated for questions from your child), each school's interviewer got through a surprising number of questions. This was surprising for me because I know my daughter is sometimes longwinded and meandering with her responses.
- Each school asked anywhere between 8-15 questions. My daughter logged 19 questions for Exeter.
- Since my daughter logged each interview question, out of curiosity, I plotted questions in a chart and loosely observed patterns. To be clear, while my daughter took copious notes during and after each of her interviews, I will not post a full list of questions asked by each school; however, similar to the Student Essay Data and Parent Statements Data articles, I do provide anonymized examples by theme.
Reflections: What I'd Do Differently
I have three main reflections about preparing for these interviews.
Reflection #1: Interview Prep Was the Hardest Component for Us
Of all the application components, I personally found interview prep to be the hardest and most stressful. I think I felt this way for two reasons:
Having a conversation in an interview-style format was completely new to my daughter. The fact that this realization took me a bit by surprise did not help. One could argue the SSAT was also completely new, or that crafting introspective essay responses while constrained by a character count was also new. However, I would argue that while true, at least the concept of a test and essay are not new.
To prepare for interviews, my daughter had to learn net new mechanisms—like storing disparate thoughts in short-term memory and recalling relevant ones to be structured in real time to address a question she'd been asked. I think students with experiences like being on the debate team are used to these types of exercises, but my daughter did not have these experiences under her belt.
Interview prep felt time-boxed in a way essay and SSAT prep did not. Essays are mostly due mid-January, and while there are limited SSAT dates, one could take the SSAT multiple times. Since we opted to do in-person interviews, our runway to prepare was tied directly to when we were able to land a campus tour—which didn't give us much breathing room to prepare while also making sure my daughter had time to continue focusing on her schoolwork, extracurriculars, social life, and other application components (including studying for the SSAT).
Reflection #2: It Was Valuable Despite Being Stressful
While stressful, both my daughter and I found the endeavor to be valuable. My daughter was glad to have had the opportunity to practice interview-style conversational skills. She found it very challenging but ultimately was grateful to have been put through the wringer (by me).
I, myself, was not only glad to have so many aggregate hours to have these face-to-face conversations with my daughter—even though they were iterative permutations about the same question topics—but also was really proud of the effort and outcome from my daughter.
Reflection #3: Three Key Takeaways
Start interview prep earlier. Maybe your kid is a natural orator or raconteur, and you don't need to prep so much. But at minimum, figure this out sooner rather than later. Interview prep can be done any time and does not need to be jammed in only once you've landed on a tour/interview schedule.
Have your child do a mock interview—at least one, and with someone who is not you. This gives them practice with an unfamiliar adult and removes the comfort of a parent who already knows their stories.
Keep reminding your child and yourself that the interviewers are not there to trick you. The interviews themselves definitely serve a purpose and are not done entirely altruistically. But they are done compassionately, kindly, and in a friendly and encouraging way.